I like white noise, but this is too much.

It's Wednesday morning, quarter to two (I don't care what time it says I posted this; it's wrong), and I feel like I need to take a walk. The temperature has gone up these past few days, I'm waiting for my next round of summer classes to kick in, and it just feels like time is standing still. It's driving me crazy.

I think I mentioned earlier that I was going to try fasting, and so it's quite possible this scattered mindset is due to me actually giving it a shot these past couple days. I figured this downtime would be the most trying, because really, I hate to be bored, and I also love to eat. Surprisingly, I've done a little writing, a lot of reading, and hardly any eating--we're talking a couple veggies, a bit of popcorn, and a cup of rice with a can of tuna in about 2.5 days (lots of water and a daily multivitamin), and I can already feel a difference in how my body's responding to, well, everything.

This feeling is what I was looking for. There was a stretch of time back in my late teens when I had to choose between paying the rent or buying groceries. Guess which one took priority. Thanks to my two years of working at McDonald's in high school, though, I was able to work some of my old connections and score a sympathy meal once in a while from the "cool" managers. Still, after graduating at 185lbs. (I'm about 6'2"), I was flirting with 170lbs. at one point. I ate a lot of popcorn, cheap yet filling, and I recall one meal consisting of a coffee cup filled with heated spaghetti sauce with a slice of melted cheese on top--no meat.

Hopefully I won't be in a situation like the one I just described anytime soon; like I mentioned, I have some classes coming up in about a week, so there's some income on the horizon. My main motivation is to revisit these sensations as a way to maybe reawaken some old feelings as well as research for my writing. In fact, this goes to show how scattered my thoughts are in this state; I was going to write a bit here about the writing and about ideas I've got cooking (oh, a punned food reference) in my head. Oh well, I've already written enough for now. I think it may be time for that walk and some fresh air.

Not gonna lie; I'll probably go down the street and pick up a late-night Coke and a candy bar, but splurging a little now will help in the long haul.

Plaid can go with stripes if I want them to!

Yup, the Chinese word to learn is "understand" and gracefully punctuates the fortune which boldly defies the definition. This, on my last day staying here at the farm, seems to be a perfect farewell with which to part ways. I've had a good time; visited with a few friends I rarely see anymore, drove through my old stomping grounds, and felt sad--still not quite sure if it's because things have changed or if they haven't changed enough. After almost two weeks, I'm not feeling right in the brain. In fact, the fortune above may make sense and the breakdown is in my processing of the data. It's official; something is damaged. Not sure vacation is supposed to do that to a person.

I've been toying with the idea of fasting when I return home. Does that make sense? It was a bit of an abrupt change in topic, but that's alright because it is. By fasting, I'm thinking more along the lines of plenty of water, maybe a vitamin pill here and there, but no food. Pretty confident I can last a day, easy, but the real test will come with the dawn of day two. If I can do it, I doubt I'd go past two or three days, but it would be interesting to try it and see. I've gone without eating for quite some time in the past, but I was horribly ill at the time and would like to experience it in good health. Well, by that I mean physical health--we've already established that the mental aspect is questionable. Chances are that I'll completely break down and throw a frozen pizza in the oven, but I'm hoping that my willpower doesn't crumble. Like crumbly crumbs on delicious cake. Mmmm, cake...

Oh, and Ryan started a blog. Read it.