Spock Thoughts killed the hamster.

Seriously.

My Vitreous Humor Hurts

This happened to me a couple nights ago; true story.

I called the local Chinese restaurant--it's really local because it's only a couple blocks down from me--and ordered one of my favorite meals: sesame chicken. Hey, I usually walk to pick it up when I place an order, but sometimes I feel lazy. Besides, if they have a minimum order for delivery and I fulfill that requirement, then I don't feel guilty in the slightest.

So I'm doing some busy work as I wait for my yummy food, and finally I get a call on my cell. See, the thing here is that I live in an access-controlled complex, so when someone dials my room number out front, my phone rings. The number calling me now is the delivery guy's cell phone. I answer, and despite my efforts, all I really understand is something about my food and what sounds like "a couple minutes" followed by a bit of nervous laughter. I say okay, hang up, and return to what I was doing, because I assumed that he said something about bringing my food in a couple minutes.

A couple minutes later, my phone rings. It's the same number. I pick it up and am greeted with, "Hey, you coming to get your food or what?!?" I didn't have any problem understanding him that time.

So here's the deal: if I order delivery, I've entered into an agreement that my food will be brought to my door, not the sidewalk outside my building. I've also decided that I don't appreciate being yelled at by the delivery guy. In anticipation of the possibility of being banned from this Chinese restaurant, I'm entertaining the idea of demonstrating my unwillingness to bow to their will and insist that they do indeed deliver my food all the way up to my doorstep.

Like I said, a worst-case scenario will end with me finding myself banned from ordering if I refuse to play fetch, but on the other hand, there will be no more midnight Chinese, which is probably the healthy alternative overall.

Lemon bars and chocolate milk.

Hi, my name's Erik. I have a blog. I forgot about it, or at least that's how it would seem to most.

I was reading something recently that made me realize something: I can't remember the last time I've been embarrassed. I mean, there are times when I've probably flushed at something I did, or tried to manufacture a slight of hand to draw attention away from something that could lead to an embarrassing situation, but even then it's been so long since I can honestly say that I was truly, deeply embarrassed, I really have to sit and ponder what it felt like. I've been embarrassed for someone else, but I think that feels different.

Maybe I should pursue situations in which I attempt to be embarrassed, but I think that would actually do the opposite, or at least not result in a product pure enough to be considered. I think true embarrassment comes from the unexpected exposure, the revealing of a secret so hidden, buried, or altogether forgotten, that the discoverer (or discoverers) will find themselves in a position to expose and exploit it for their own purposes. I guess I'm convincing myself now that it all comes down to power, or an interpretation of power that the person embarrassed implicitly grants whoever they let put them in that situation.

And... I'm spent. I believe I shall retreat to caffeinate and regain my strength. I'm so embarrassed.

Achieving the remoterate distinctory possibiliation.

I am about to put in a movie to pass out to in the first night at my new apartment. Woohoo! I looked in my fridge and found a bottle of V8, butter, hot dogs, bologna, mayonnaise, pickles, leftover hot and sour soup from Chinese delivery, and a bottle of water.

Oh, it appears that I'm already settled in nicely.

Punctuated Progress

I decided to sit in front of the fan for a few minutes and take a breather, as I'm currently in the process of moving. My new place is seriously going to be a palace compared to where I've been living, and the best part of all is that I won't have roommates anymore. For some odd reason, over the past few years I find that people tend to build non-verbalized expectations around me and then try to punish me when I don't anticipate and fulfill them. In this last case, I began to find that I was in trouble for things I not only wasn't doing, but also the things that I did do. Unfortunately, when I made the effort to discuss the situation and hopefully resolve it, I was met instead with an ultimatum. No, that's not right, it was more of a decree passed down by royalty. In doing so, I was left with an unanswered attack on my character and no discourse that would allow all of us to possibly see the other's perspective, or at the very least, save a friendship.

Ok, in a quick aside, I have to give an overview of this absurd attack on my character. For being asked to do a favor, which I did, I was informed that I was "extremely selfish" with a condescending look. The favor: to cook dinner, which I came through on so far as to buy all the food and prepare it all myself. Why I'm selfish: I didn't ask when they wanted it cooked for them. Yup, that appears to be it, but of course, I wasn't honored with the dignity of any further explanation. When I brought it up again later and denied the accusation, I was scoffed at, which should apparently have convinced me of my guilt. So I said, "Ok, explain to me how that is selfish. Convince me," to which I was answered simply, "It's debatable," and then he walked away. Yes, it was a crushing defeat, as the superior intellect apparently doesn't have to justify flagrant accusations when they know they're right.

For intelligent people that consider themselves "enlightened", I find the behavior unbelievable, and if I weren't so disgusted with them and the situation, I would be a bit ashamed for them. As with many people that I have absolutely no respect for, things basically degraded to the point where I stopped talking to them and we were happy to ignore each other. I'm assuming the oppressive atmosphere that resulted is why they have left for the weekend, allowing me to take my time getting my things together and have probably the most relaxed move I can remember. I will now take this last opportunity to offer them a heartfelt thanks for the disappearing act, because I can't foresee any conversation or light banter in the future. If I were to verbalize anything, it would probably sound more like "Fuck you."

I have to copy/paste what I wrote a while ago in the "About Me" section of my facebook page. It seems to be ringing truer all the time.

When you first met me, I might've seemed aloof and one of the biggest assholes you've ever met. After a while, I might suddenly transform into the nicest guy you've ever met. After a couple years, I'll probably find a way to reattain my original status.

Heh.

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Disclaimer: After becoming a student of creative writing, one of my roommates gave me permission to use anything from the house as subject matter for my writing. Well, there you go, and thanks again. I'll be sure to remember that.