Expectations. We all have them, and people have them of us. What happens when those expectations aren't met? Usually not good things, that's what. I've noticed lately that the relationships I have, both now and in the past, that involve a high level of expectation (from either side) are the shortest lived, and the ones I have with little or no expectation are the most satisfying.
I say this because I've had a fairly surreal last few weeks, and it's giving me that feeling again like everyone around me is going totally whackbat insane. I mean apeshit woogy woogy insane, and I am the eye of the storm. Whodunit? Unrealistic expectations are the culprit for what I'm interpreting as loose grips on reality. Ironically, it's usually the people that swoon and feign some level of insanity that appear outwardly to be the most grounded, and in turn the people that I'm tending to get along with the most bestest. I think that should frighten me. If it weren't for the fact that I've learned to appreciate certain friends that much more because of this recent past, I would be scared out of my britches. Ah ha, I bet you read that quick and thought I said "bitches". Ok, so I guess I am a little crazy.
One new relationship that I have is with the band I've just been officially accepted into as lead vocalist. Because of past experiences, I had imagined that there were mountains of expectations heaped on me in the sense of performance and production. Don't get me wrong, I still think that there are, but not to the level I've been letting myself believe. These guys are content to start from scratch and reinvent themselves as we all get used to working with each other, and this new atmosphere of relief is actually making me feel that much more inspired to dig in and hit the stage as quick as we can, ready to dump my guts out and kick some ass. Oooooo, aw yeah, feel the melodrama.
I suppose the gist of what I'm feeling as I write this is that with the limited time I have at my disposal anymore, I'm getting urges to do things with my free time that feel worthwhile to me. It's amazing some of the stuff I used to do that seems so pointless now that necessity dictates I streamline. These are yet more of the signs as I go telling me that I'm where I need to be and doing what I should be doing.
All hail the sock monkey!
2 comments:
You sound like a very interesting person. It's also interesting that you talk about relationships. If you don't mind my asking - are you in a relationship? And/or do you want any new friends? I know this is out of the blue and all that but your blogs have got me interested in your personality. If you are also curious about me, just respond to this comment on your own blog and I will give you my email address. I'm hoping you'll give me a chance. Until I see your comment of "interest" . . .
Well, I don't know if I'm quite sure what to think of this situation. I mean, put yourself in my shoes. As I'm not particularly eager to post the specific details of the questions you have asked for the whole world to see, much less someone who I only know as 'anonymous', I'll just say that you can feel free to post your email address if you like. I was going to recommend that you not do that, but it's not like I have a ton of visitors. I would also like to point out that there is an email link in my rather uninteresting profile. Just an FYI...
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