Monday, May 10, 2010

I'm a glutton for gluten.

Tomorrow is our last day of finals, and student concerns/requests are still coming via email. One particular brand of email, I'll admit, is more entertaining than the rest. Here's the basic template:

"OMG, I'm so so sorry I've missed the last few classes, but I've had >insert reference to a vague, yet earth-shattering, life-destroying trauma--most often cited as "personal problems"< at home that I just had to deal with! What did we do for class? Please call me. My number is >digits I don't pay attention to<."

Yes, this is the condensed mad-lib formula from quite a few of the emails this past semester. Honestly, I'm somewhat of a softy when it comes to a student making the effort to let me know they won't be in class, but you'll notice the above example was in the past tense, which usually indicates this effort falls into the "too little, too late" category. Still, I offer them a chance and will typically send a reply reminding them when and where my office hours are, followed closely with an explicit invitation to come see me then. Do they take me up on it? Let's just say that I haven't seen a taker yet, but I wish they'd figure out that it's the best way to work it out; at least it is with me.

I think it's the last bit that kills me. The phone in my office is effectively cosmetic (I mention this on day one), and there's a reason I don't list my personal number on the syllabus, so it stands to reason that I'm not going to call someone who already displays a strong tendency to procrastinate. Receiving calls at any time of the day or night by a panic-stricken student is not something I'm eager to experience. No thank you.

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